The Right Way to Think About Networking
Humans are social creatures.
Humans are social creatures. If you're not sure exactly what that means, just look down at the cup of coffee you're sipping, the shoes you're wearing, or the smartphone you're browsing. All these nice things come from a global supply chain that is touched by thousands of people (figuratively) before it lands in our hands.
The idea that humans are social creatures dates back to Aristotle, who observed that human economies are made possible by our unique ability for social cooperation. More than making friends and industry connections, the heart of networking is social cooperation.
Social cooperation is what can turn raw resources from ten different countries around the world into one comfortable, affordable pair of shoes sold globally. It's also what gives us, as individuals, housing when we don't know construction, fresh produce when we don't know farming, and protection even though we don't keep vigil around the clock.
Networking can be summed up in the common adage, "No one does it alone."
Contrary to popular portrayals of wealth and success, there are no mad geniuses in real life. In real life, there are only logistical pains and looming deadlines and dreams of breaking even, all held together with the proverbial duct tape and prayer. The only true hope is that you've invested in good people who will come through for you in the end.
Start From a Long-Term Mindset
Practically, networking means finding the right people and surrounding yourself with your people (and ultimately hoping that you are a good judge of character).
When you start with this lofty mindset, you may be working harder in the short run, but you are guaranteed to succeed in the long run.
Identify Your Purpose
As a corporate professional, there are many specific purposes for networking:
Learning or teaching a skill
Giving or receiving advice
Collaborating over shared interests
Finding allies who can support you
Of course, your own purpose in networking depends on your stage in life, what you're looking to accomplish at the moment, and your goals for the long run. But no matter what your situation is, you should always go into networking looking to invest in genuine relationships - the only relationships that really matter.
You will ultimately form many different types of relationships, which can also overlap or evolve over time:
Teachers who share their knowledge and skills
Mentors who share their wisdom
Champions who advocate for you behind closed doors
Friends who support and encourage you (and commiserate with you when needed)
Partners who share your interests and provide mutual education
It's important to remember that not everyone has to be everything to you, and vice versa. The key is to approach every relationship with a sincere and focused purpose, and whether or not it works out in the long run, you'll know that you've given it all that you can.
Respect the Basics and Be a Good Friend
I know I like to quote wiser people, but here is one last axiom that is guaranteed to improve your networking skills: "If you want to be interesting, be interested."
Caring about others is the fundamental principle of friendship - and while it sounds straightforward, it actually takes a lot of practice.
Have you ever told someone a story about your own life only to be met with an anecdote of something similar that happened to the other person? This instinct of responding to someone's experiences with a similar example of our own is an incredibly common way of trying to relate to people, but it misses the point of being a good listener.
Being a good listener and friend means setting yourself aside for a moment and showing interest in another person.
An easy way to show interest in someone else is to ask them a follow-up question. Bonus points if it's not a yes-or-no question. Ask them why they have a certain opinion, what specifically they like about something, or what their favorite memory about it was. A conversation is also more interesting if it's not just a back-and-forth between two people talking at each other, but rather a deeper delve into a single idea.
The Takeaway: Learning How to Form Relationships
If this is starting to sound like exhausting work, that's because it is! Learning how to simply be there for someone - to be a good friend and form a long-lasting relationship - is not merely about having good intentions but rather doing a real, emotionally-taxing job.
With this mentality, you will be able to form genuine relationships where you can both learn from someone else and share something of yourself. It doesn't mean you need to become best lifelong friends with everyone you meet, but it does mean that you will have a network of people that you can mutually rely on to do all the great things you dream of doing, and you won't ever have to do it alone.